


Simulacrum

by RainbowRunway



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, F/F, Hallucinations, I AM SORRY, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lisa is a very hurt bean, Narration. A LOT of it., This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-28 02:56:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16715247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowRunway/pseuds/RainbowRunway
Summary: Lisa is unable to move on from Yukina's death - every night, she laments.





	Simulacrum

**Author's Note:**

> What is my problem oh my god...Lisa I am so sorry  
> ANYWAY...yeah I really don't know what this is. Enjoy(????), I guess.

Lisa had always held a great admiration for Yukina for the longest time. Ever since she was a child, Yukina was gifted with a beautiful voice, while the young bassist was only a silhouette in her shadow. A helpless little girl, only there to be by Yukina's side. As they grew up, Yukina grew more distant towards everyone, including her, as if perfection was her only saving drug. She strived for it, all for avenging her father. Lisa couldn't do anything to help, even when Yukina started Roselia, meant to be a top-level band consisting of only the best. Lisa wasn't the best. She was far from that. Yet she worked up the courage to join.  
And she got in.

In the back of her mind, worries reared their ugly heads, plaguing her with thoughts of not being worthy to stand by Yukina's side on the stage, only justified by her lack of skill compared to the singer.  
Things changed, though, and Roselia started to feel like a family to her. Those concerned thoughts and anxieties faded overtime, only replaced by the warm words of encouragement and happiness from her bandmates, but nothing quite lifted Lisa's spirit as much as Yukina's smile did. She prayed those blissful days would last for eternity. Alas...good things don’t last forever.

* * *

 _The faint glow of the TV in the dark room flickered as Lisa stared at the screen, blank-faced, as the news reported the end of her days as a normal girl. A happy, popular girl, surrounded by her friends._  
_If the one she loved the most was gone, everything else was too. Hot tears streamed down her expressionless face, dripping off her chin and onto the mattress. Divergent to her impassive features, emotions raged like a typhoon inside her; shock, anger, frustration, sadness, disbelief, loneliness threatened to rend her mind. A part of her fought against the overwhelming emotions, the reporter’s monotone voice continuing their report._.

_“A mangled body, later identified to be Minato Yukina, a young, aspiring singer, was discovered dead in the middle of the intersections of Haneoka Girls' High School. This is extremely shocking news and we would like to extend our condolences to her family and friends and--”  
_

_Switching the TV off, Lisa lay down on her bed, curling herself into a ball while hugging her knees close. The salty liquid rushed past her eyes and trickled down her cheeks, staining her pillow with nothing but sorrow. She didn't hold back her voice this time - there was nothing to hold back anyway. She couldn't sleep no matter how much she tried; images of Yukina only flashed in her mind, so real, but so fake at the same time. When Lisa looked up, pale green eyes glistening with tears, she thought she could see Yukina standing by her bed past her watery vision, but the moment she blinked, what she thought was her dear friend was gone again. She buried her head back into her knees again, holding them even tighter. If you were a neighbor next door, all you would be able to hear, all night, were the desperate cries of a girl who had nothing left. If Yukina was gone, she..._

* * *

Roselia had no choice but to disband with Yukina's death. Though nobody wanted to, they wouldn't accept anyone else as their vocalist - it wouldn't truly be Roselia otherwise. They promised they would stand there, on the stage of the FUTURE WORLD FES., together, as a group, yet even that dream crumbled into nothing. The 4 girls still met, of course, they wouldn't forget each other, but with every conversation they had a heavy atmosphere loomed, as if someone else was...listening in on their discussions. They avoided speaking even a single word concerning Yukina, but after a while, they couldn't really avoid it anymore. Lisa still remembered what Sayo, Ako, and Rinko had individually told her, how they felt when the grim news was announced. They had similar reactions to Lisa herself, but truthfully it didn't even come close. All her clashing emotions, the throbbing in her head as the blood rushed to her face, the intense beating of her heart, all of it made her head spin, it made her dizzy to the point she couldn't even stand without thinking of Yukina.

Weeks, months and years passed. Even until then, Lisa couldn't focus on anything at all - thoughts of Yukina, regret and shame occupied every corner of her mind at every given moment. Even though her ex-bandmates still cared about her, and she still talked to them, she didn't pay as much attention anymore. One might say she fell into depression, but Lisa knew that wasn't the case.   
Repeating her daily routine of tearful, sleepless nights, all alone in her room, Lisa wondered...if what happened to Yukina also happened to her, would she be able to see her best friend? Those thoughts surfaced more often than not, but she could never bring herself to stand in front of a truck on a busy road and just die, yet the offer grew more enticing with each passing day.

It was another one of these nights that had grown to become painfully normal. Her mind betrayed her, deciding to make her feel even worse by forcing her to recall memories she made together with Yukina, both the good and the bad, and how they overcame their problems together with the rest of Roselia, who had become so far away in Lisa's thoughts by then that she couldn't bear to even send a text message to them anymore. She had insisted to her parents that she was completely fine, and to tell the truth she looked alright outside, while she wore her mask of ever-so-bright smiles and laughter. Beyond that, though, was the Lisa who couldn't, and wouldn't, move on from Yukina. She refused to forget, despite the fact it had impacted her life in a severely negative manner. She was curled up as usual, tears racing down uncontrollably while she struggled to contain her sobs.

When she looked up yet again, Yukina was standing there, smiling at her with the familiar grin she hadn't seen for so long.  
It was just a dream, Lisa thought, just like the last time. One blink and she would go away. Except, this time Yukina was still there even after one, two, three blinks, even when Lisa's vision was clear. Yukina slowly walked towards Lisa's bed, steps making no sound at all. Instinctively, Lisa shot up, looking at Yukina with a hopeful gleam in her eyes, that she was here to stay now. Yukina's more transparent-than-usual hands touched Lisa's shoulders, but the brunette could feel nothing.

"I'm so happy that you've remembered me all this time," Yukina started, expression a combination of a frown and a grin. "But...I'm sorry. For being the reason you suffered every day, every night. For dying just for such a stupid reason as not watching the traffic light. I'm sorry, Lisa."

She rested her head on one side of Lisa's shoulder, arms circling around her, but again, Lisa felt nothing but air touching her. She really was dead, wasn't she? Lisa stayed silent, even as Yukina released her 'hold' on Lisa, standing a distance from her instead. Her lavender hair flowed as she held a hand out, inviting Lisa to take it.

"Now, you won't have to live such a life anymore. Won't you come with me? We'll be together, for eternity. You won't feel any more pain, sadness, or anxiety. I'll be with you forever, right by your side. What do you say?"

Her tone was warm, gentle and welcoming. An angelic smile graced her lips, and she seemed so real. Lisa knew this wasn't just an illusion. If it meant being with Yukina, if it meant she could retake her everyday life, she would do whatever it took. Subconsciously, her hand drifted to meet Yukina's, grasping it firmly, as if she never wanted to let go.

Yukina laughed lightly, whispering a few words, but Lisa couldn't even hear them. She found herself losing consciousness, everything around her was suddenly turning black.

When she looked back up at Yukina, her hazel eyes were full of life, glowing dangerously. Lisa's mind was in a daze, but she didn't have much time to think of anything, because all faded away to nothingness as she fell off the bed, towards the hard ground of her own room. The very last thing she saw was a devious smirk dancing about on Yukina's lips along with what she thought was the endless, dark sky in the distance.

**Author's Note:**

> W E L P. That's it. I probably should have spent more time on this but I just wanted to get this off my draft list lmao  
> Special thanks to my good friend for proofreading owo


End file.
